There is Room

This time last year, our little family was on vacation. Andy and I had brought our children, my sister in law, nephew, and a family friend down for a week of fun and relaxation at the end of June. As always, I planned my week around services at Source Church. I didn't want to miss spending time worshipping with my "second church family." I'd been visiting there every trip we made to NC since my parents bought the house in Manteo. I prayed that someday God would let me be a part of something like it. Worship was amazing, and everything said and done was real, honest, and pointed straight to God in a way that I had never seen before.

Whenever, I mentioned Manteo, Andy always said, "Oh you just want to move down there." That was a dream of mine yes, but there was already an amazing team serving in worship. I couldn't imagine going anywhere that I wouldn't be able to serve. I wasn't needed in NC, but I was needed at our little church in WV. No, what I really wanted was to be used by God in a new way. To be challenged in my faith and keep growing. I thought that was going to happen in WV, and never imagined that God's plans were closer than the distant horizon I was thinking of.

That week of vacation, I snuck away from the busyness to go to church. Pastor Frank was talking about things that others or our thoughts tell us that we can't do for God, or that we can't overcome. One of the things he talked about was his desire to plant more churches, to grow beyond just Source Church, Manteo. Right there in the very back row, something sparked in me. Suddenly, Holy Spirit was saying "there's room here." Was there room? "Maybe in a few years," I thought. I still had work to do in WV.

Less than a month later the message was clear. God's timing wasn't a "few years" it was a matter of weeks. On August 9th the kids and I left WV with our van packed full of basic necessities, and little more than the keys to my parents house, and the knowledge that God wanted us here.

What an amazing move it has been! So many doors have opened, relationships have been restored, and there has been opportunities to serve in more ways than we ever imagined. More importantly, more than ever before, our family has been swallowed up in the reality that we are loved by God more than we could possibly fathom.

 This week Source church announced the addition of Source Church, VA Beach. In that moment Holy Spirit reminded me that, "There is Room." There is room for God to change your life. He will meet you, if you take that first step. There is room for your family to be restored. There is Room to serve, to be His hands and feet. There is room. Don't let anyone or anything, (even yourself) tell you otherwise. He has made a place for you. You are Loved.

Listen for GOD's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;

he's the one who will keep you on track.

Proverbs 3:6 MSG

Check this out! If you aren't already, please follow Source Church and Source Church Virginia Beach. You won't want to miss the things that God is doing here!

Where He Leads

Where He leads me, I will follow.

Where He leads me, I will follow.

Where He leads me, I will follow.

I'll go with Him, with Him all the way. 

~ E. W. Blandy

 

 

 

I recently heard a sermonette that talked about the Lord being a light to our path. All we need to do is follow, one step at a time. But I tend to be more like a stubborn mule than a sheep who follows willingly. "Where are we going? Will my family approve? I can't afford that! I'm not good enough, strong enough, motivated enough, Lord." Need I go on? 

 

Lately, I've been feeling this tug of war in my soul. It's like I'm at a crossroads, with old dreams rising up, and new dreams developing right before my eyes. I'm honestly feeling lost in it all. I know the first step will be to seek Him. After all, the Lord cares about our dreams and even inspires them. I keep coming up with excuses, "This is too hard, I'm not ready, I need to do this and this first....blah, blah, blah."

 

 

Do I apply to school with no knowledge of where the financial coverage will come from? Do I uproot my family on what seems like an incredibly challenging move? Can I serve in more than one ministry? What about my husband? How does he feel?

 

"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

“The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.”

 Psalm 37:23-24

 

 

Ultimately the Lord knows every detail, every step I cannot see in the path before me. Why then am I so reluctant to follow? If I follow, the path is laid out and I only need to see as far as the hem of His garment. To Trust. Moses didn't know all that was before him when he took the first steps towards his return to Egypt. Abraham didn't know the Lord's plan when he took Isaac on the mountain to offer as a sacrifice. Yet, they followed.

 

 

“It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”

Psalm 118:8

 

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

Proverbs 3:5

 

 

We are called to trust and to follow. If I want to truly be a disciple of Christ, shouldn't I be doing that? Can I let go and follow?

 

 



Where He leads me, I will follow.

Where He leads me, I will follow.

Where He leads me, I will follow.

I'll go with Him, with Him all the way. 

 

 

EW Blandy wrote these words in 1890. Blandy was a Salvation Army officer. He was given the choice between a safe comfortable post, or an assignment in a New York city slum. Comfortable service, or jumping feet first into "Hell's Kitchen." He chose the latter. It makes me wonder, am I ready to do the same? Is that what the Lord is asking here?

 

 

I can hear my Savior calling,
I can hear my Savior calling,
I can hear my Savior calling,
Take thy cross and follow, follow Me.



 

 

 

Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours

It's been two years since I posted, but when He speaks into our hearts things happen. So are you ready? Here we go...

This is Holy week. What an exciting time of celebration for those who know and love Christ! We've been busy planning for Easter Sunday services for weeks, nay even months at Living River Chapel. It's like the Superbowl for churches right? As a matter of fact, our pastor has challenged us. If we can get 60 people in church on Sunday then we can dunk him with Gatorade just like the coach after a big game. Fun stuff right?

In all truth, it isn't about the event, or dunking anyone with soft drinks, but it is about reaching out and getting out of our comfort zone to invite others to experience what we have found. It's about letting everyone know that there is hope. That they are Loved!

 Christians are all to often complacent and fail to do the "reaching out" part. We lose our excitement, our hearts grow cold, and we forget about the people around us who still need God. The people who are hurting, the people who are desperate for change, who feel hopeless. We fail to see and love the way He does.

Our pastor's challenge to our church reminded me of a similar challenge years ago. A challenge my Dad made one summer in the little church that I grew up in when he was Pastor. "If we can get 100 people to Vacation Bible School, then you can dunk the preacher and his wife in the river." This was an itty bitty community. Much smaller than the area in which we serve now (Sutton), but do you know what happened? We kids reached out! We invited anyone and everyone to our tiny church for VBS, we welcomed, shared with, and loved everyone we knew. Lives were changed that week! The added "bonus?" We dunked the preacher in the river!

Dunking and Gatorade aside, I ask you, what will it take to get us out of our comfort zone? What will it take to entice us to reach out? I struggle so much with this, I like to think it's because I'm introverted. Maybe, just maybe though that isn't the case? Maybe my heart is just hard? As I go about my day, how many times to I see people, but fail to really "see" them? How many hurting souls are passing me by as I judge outward appearances or just ignore what's going on around me in pursuit of my own activities? 

Heal my heart and make it clean,

Open up my eyes to the things unseen,

show me how to love like You have loved me

 

Break my heart for what breaks Yours

everything I am for your kingdoms cause...

 

 

 

These are the words to the bridge of Hosanna by Brooke Fraser. As we sang them in worship this past Sunday, God started chipping away at my heart. After all, these words and any that we sing in worship are more than just words to a song. We can make them our prayer. I can't break my own heart and I certainly can't love others without the help of my Savior. "Break my heart for what breaks Yours." I made that a prayer this week and guess what happened? God took me back to the little country church where my relationship with Him began. He started working on me just as promised in Ezekiel 36:26.

 

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

God took me back to the very spot where my heart was broken first to open my eyes to what is breaking His heart.

Yesterday, the kids and I were on our way to town to run some errands. We go there every Tuesday. Every week as we drive by I look at the little church on the hill where I did my homework and fell asleep in the pews on late nights when my parents were praying, and delivering Gods message to others. The place where I met my best friend, my first boyfriend, and learned that family doesn't necessarily have to be people who share your bloodline. Where I learned that God has room for all of us in His Family. Every week, I drive by and I look for a car to be there. I look for any sign that the church is still alive and active in the community, hoping for a chance to find the doors unlocked so that I can show my children the place where God started this work that has shaped not only my life, but theirs. I never saw anyone there, until yesterday.

As we drove past I noticed a truck in the parking lot at the church. Immediately God said, "It's time." So I turned the car around and pulled into the lot. I tentatively walked to the door, only to be met by a kind older lady who asked who I was. "Hi, my name is Ann. I know it seems weird, but I grew up in this church. My Daddy was the pastor. I was wondering, could I show my children around?"

She welcomed us in, saying "Oh, I think your picture is in here!" Sure enough it was, photos of me and my family and friends from 1989 were on display in the building. The photos had just been given to the church a week before. Gods timing? I think so. I was still welcome here, and remembered. As we walked around I pointed out all the memories and noted all the changes to my children. The building had seen many changes and improvements, including the conversion of the basement to a fellowship hall.

I picked up the old wooden bowl used to collect the offering, the birthday bank that had seen better days, I showed the children the plaque of Brazil on the wall gifted to the church by a missionary and made from the most beautiful butterfly wings. All of these little things that were still there as if nothing had changed, and we looked at all the new things that had. A new keyboard, at least 10 microphones, new pews. The church appeared to be thriving, but then I asked, "How many people do you have on Sundays now?"

The answer broke my heart. As I stood on the altar in the exact place where I kneeled one night as a child to accept Christ, I heard her answer "Usually we have between 3 and 8 people."

Break my heart for what breaks Yours.... 

3 to 8 people, in a church where there was once 100 for VBS? This building on the hill, the only one in it's community to shine the light of Christ, only has a congregation of 8 at best? Immediately, I was both brokenhearted for this community, and in awe of the work that God is doing in our own church in Sutton. We are shooting for 60 this Sunday and yet we are also the only church in the community and similarly located on a hill. On one hand we have a remodeled building that used to be a thriving church standing nearly empty in a community that has only grown. There aren't less people there, by the statistics and number of homes, the community has more than enough people to see that church filled to capacity and beyond. Yet, it isn't.  On the other hand we have a church in a converted garage that is growing! In each case the community is filled with strife, drugs, domestic violence, and all manner of hurt. We drive past thinking, "Oh how sad!" or "Look there's another arrest." What are we doing about it though?

Are we ready to reach out yet? Are we ready to make it our prayer that our eyes will be opened to really see the people that God places in our path? Can we even try to see the way that God does? Can we pray to see that way? We don't necessarily have to crusade through the streets shouting, but what about the quite moments and interactions that God places before us each day? The people we interact with on social media? At the gas station? Work? School? My heart is breaking today as God shows me the many people, who are in need of Him. I don't have the answers, and I'm still struggling as my own plans are rearranged to make room for His, but I asked for it as I sang on Sunday...

Open up my eyes to the things unseen...

When your heart starts breaking for others there is a whole new world to be seen. God's heart is for all of us to know him. There is Hope for the hopeless. There is Joy for the mourning. I ask you today, are you ready to serve? To follow? To share it with others? I encourage you, to make it your prayer today. I don't want my children to someday walk into the church where we are currently serving only to have their hearts break because it's dying. I don't want to run away from my community if God has called me to serve here. Until such a time as He calls us elsewhere, we will let our hearts break for what is breaking His and serve Joyfully where we are planted.

 

 



 





Falling apart, but not Forgotten: Dusting off the Hymnal.

 It's hot in church today. She can feel the sweat beading on her temple as she waits for instruction from the preacher. She hears a buzz and waves her fan to the left. There's no way to avoid the pesky flies, and the mosquitoes, well they are even worse. If only they would stay outside. Lord knows if the doors and windows were closed they'd all roast for sure, just like the chicken waiting in the oven at Granny's. Finally it's time to begin. The preacher nods to her and she picks up the tattered brown book and turns to page 307. She starts to play and the words sooth her soul as the congregation sings, Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound....

 Hymns. My earliest church memories are wrapped up in their melodies. I learned so much as I turned the pages in the green hard backed hymnals while the pianist played. My best friend and I spent our childhood summers at tent revivals where the preacher would request that we sing his favorite song every night. There wasn't one of us who couldn't sing along before we'd even opened our copy of Heavenly Highway Hymns. When pangs of death seized on my soul, unto the Lord I cried; Till Jesus came and made me whole, I would not be denied. 

So, why am I talking about hymns? Well I'm excited. When the Lord wants to teach you something it's not uncommon for it to be on your heart for a good while before that moment of recognition when you realize. "Oh hey, God's telling me something!" Wanna know what's been on my heart lately? Check out the title of the blog. Tuned to Grace. Anyone recognize it?

How about now? It's on repeat. In the car, in the shower, cooking, cleaning, when I wake up. Playing through my mind. Why? The words are as personal to me as they were to Robert Robinson when he penned them in 1757. Over and over, the Lord has been pointing me to the songs hiding in the well worn brown hymnal on the shelf in our home, it's home church long since torn down and forgotten.

Hymns are fascinating. Just as the words of Paul were inspired in Romans, and David poured out his heart in Psalms, generations of ordinary people have been inspired by God to write these songs. The lyrics come alive each time they pass the lips because they are inspired by, and full of scripture. That's why two centuries later, we're still singing Come Thou Fount. Maybe it's time to dust off the hymnal so our children can too.

A few days ago, I was driving down the road and pondering all that we have scheduled for our home school year. I thought about my goal last year to teach the children some hymns and study the stories behind them. We didn't quite get there. This year music is climbing the priority list. As I hummed the melody of Come Thou Fount, God reminded me of all the theological treasures hidden in these oft forgotten tunes. How many truths have we memorized without even realizing it through song? How many children learned to read holding a hymnal on Sundays? I want those memories for my children.

Both Abby and Jaden, can sing contemporary hymns and worship alongside great modern songwriters all day long. I'm so thankful that we as a family have a great church to attend, with great music, and that we have resources such as Christian radio available to us. Music is such a passion for me. I love leading the songs and seeing how God uses contemporary music to reach His people today. It is easy to understand, and easy to sing, but we can't neglect to mix the old with the new. The history of church music is too rich to ignore.

Hymns have such a marvelous depth of vocabulary. Even though I grew up singing them, I still stop sometimes and think, "I wonder what that line means?" A month or so ago, our group Defining Grace stopped to explore the second verse of Come Thou Fount during our Friday night practice. The line says. Here I raise mine Ebenezer, hither by thy help I'm come. Ebenezer? Um..what does Scrooge have to do with the bible? (You were wondering the same thing right?) Here's what we found:

Samuel took a large stone and placed it between the towns of Mizpah and Jeshanah. He named it Ebenezer—”the stone of help”—for he said, “Up to this point the Lord has helped us!” —1 Samuel 7:12

It was a reminder to Israel that God was faithful to help them in times of trouble. Amen? That brings a whole new understanding of the verse and the entire song to me. How much more can we learn by digging into the stories and scriptures behind the hymns?

I want my children to understand music and enjoy it beyond what they hear on their i pods or you tube. I don't play an instrument, and I'm no where near fluent when it comes to reading music. Hymnals don't require you to do either, but the notation is there. Even without the benefit of accompaniment or the knowledge of which note is A, B or G anyone can follow the notes and know where they are (we don't even have to worry about if the projector or Power Point will work). The music and the words are right there before us, like a beautiful path with each note as a stepping stone.

I love where the path leads us. To the One who inspired it all. The powerful imagery of The Old Rugged Cross reminds us of what it might have been like to stand there on Calvary's hill as the Savior died. A few pages further and we're reminded of the hope that we have eternal and the message of evangelism. Still others tell us that, we, in all of our faults and troubles are still welcome at the feet of Jesus. All of that in one little tattered book with the wonderful music God created as a bonus? Who wouldn't want to share it with their children?

I can't wait to start our year...

Our First Year "Home."

A year ago the Lord led us to begin our homeschooling journey. I'd never even considered teaching my children at home. A product of the public school system I loved to learn, and didn't question the system or it's ability to educate my children. However, no matter how wonderful the teachers and school was something wasn't fitting right for our family and I found my heart being nudged in the direction of home education. After reading as much as I could, prayer, and much discussion, Andy and I decided to go for it.

I'll admit the first year was hard. I'm not sure it's ever easy to homeschool and those that would lead you to believe it is aren't being truthful. It is however a blessing to be there and witness your child learning something new.  We recently submitted our portfolio for review and I had the opportunity to reflect on our year. It is truly amazing how much children learn when permitted to explore the things that interest them.

One of my goals for the year last year was to give the kids opportunities to fall in love with books. It didn't matter if they were "at grade level." What mattered was letting them explore and find something, anything that interested them to spark that lifelong love. For Abby it was Dork Diaries, for Jaden Lego Magazine, but you know what? They enjoyed what they were reading and chose to read independently without anyone telling them to do so. As a result both of them improved in their abilities.

I'll be honest. The curriculum we chose for the year did not really fit our family. We deviated from it often to explore other ideas. We watched a marathon of Star Wars that led to a discussion on character, relationships, and social issues. We learned multiplication while riding bikes. We studied nature up close and even helped move a sea turtle nest! We explored history first hand at living history sites. We worked together as a family to remodel a house (with help from our church family) and moved mid-year. The best part was we just relaxed and let learning happen.

It was wonderful!

Here are some photos from our year. =)

Prelude to a Journey

 For a while now, I've been pondering the idea of a new blog. As much as I adore our previous blog Raggedy to Retro, the time has come to move on. Our family has grown, we're constantly finding ourselves out of tune and in need of Grace. Like any good musician the Father lovingly dusts us off and tunes us just in time to play a new song. So I introduce Tuned to Grace, a place where we can share our journey as a family. I look forward to sharing our struggles and successes in life, living, and learning. This is our new blog home. Welcome!